Your addiction is showing.

Two years ago I outed myself as obsessed with food and my body, and eventually named it as a relapse into the bulimia that had plagued me in my late teens and early twenties. My addiction to “healthy”/clean/Paleo eating was obvious to anyone who had cared to look for it from my frequent posts ofRead more

Life After “The After”

Two years ago I spent a lot of time on the mirror taking selfie’s of my super fit body. At least that was what I thought I was doing. Looking back now I see near gauntness. I see a lack of curves where my body wants to exist. I see bones where I’d benefit fromRead more

Is Body Acceptance Still For Me?

I’ve had an eating disorder since I was sixteen years old. If we’re counting, that’s sixteen years. I recovered when I was twenty-two; I finally stopped purging in the third trimester of my first pregnancy. I gained ninety pounds during that pregnancy. And, because I was a sickly skinny methamphetamine addict before I got soberRead more

The Whole Picture.

Basically the goal of me writing this post it to get you to read this blog post. Please read it. It’s that necessary. It’s stuck with me for weeks now. Dear Laura, Do you ever/did you ever look at friends’ Facebook posts, or hear good news about their lives, and be filled with a combinationRead more

Trauma Tour 2015

(9.17.15) I’m sitting in this weird hotel room in Lynnwood, WA. The suburbs north of Seattle. Where I started the phase of my life that changed everything. Where I fled when the life I knew for nearly twenty years almost killed me. My dad drove me up to the treatment center and associated house forRead more

Sobriety: A Lifesaver (Part IV)

This is the fourth post in a five-part series discussing addiction, recovery [relapse], and long-term sobriety. As I celebrate five substance-free years, I am taking the time to [publicly] look back at where I really was in the months preceding my “clean date”, how I got to where I am now, and the ongoing implicationsRead more

Addiction: In the Trenches (Part I)

This is the first post in a five-part series discussing addiction, recovery [relapse], and long-term sobriety. As I celebrate five substance-free years, I am taking the time to [publicly] look back at where I really was in the months preceding my “clean date”, how I got to where I am now, and the ongoing implicationsRead more