Am I supposed to get sober today?

It’s the first day of 2017. You know, that magical moment where we collectively release ourselves into the belief that we can make any handy or hard resolution and it will somehow stick. Magical moment people. Am I missing it if I don’t jump on board? Am I doomed for a month or a year?Read more

Struggling at the Intersection Between Mental Health and Addiction

I was diagnosed a depressed bulimic when I was sixteen. I was diagnosed a cocaine addict when I was nineteen. I’ve lived in the intersection between my mental health challenges and my addictive tendencies for thirteen years. It’s been anything but easy. At first, the hardest part was that I so obviously used drugs andRead more

Sobriety: Day Nineteen

I’m starting to hate the word sober. I’m not sure it accurately represents what I’m going for here. I’m not sure it doesn’t imply something inaccurate about where I’ve recently been. I’ve been nowhere especially terrible. I’ve experienced something different than overdue consequences and bone-deep desperation. And yet. Sobriety. The state of being sober. ItRead more

On Drinking and Belonging.

I didn’t drink in high school. I was lucky enough to have friends that didn’t really either. You might think that was a testament to the way my parents raised me, or the Sunday School classes I came up through. Maybe. I think I didn’t drink because the opportunity never presented itself. I never feltRead more

Falling in love with Love Warrior.

Yesterday I finished Glennon Doyle Melton’s (aka Momastery) “Love Warrior” in twenty-six hours. That is unheard of for me. Because I am a working mom. Because I notice nowadays I can’t really commit my attention beyond a short essay linked from Facebook (and, even then, sometimes that one little click is just too much *scrollRead more

Twenty-five things I didn’t figure out in my twenties.

It was validating and somewhat therapeutic to write my previous post, describing some remarkable experiences in my last decade. If you haven’t read it, please take the time as it provides context for this subsequent list. I’m damn proud of my accomplishments and weird and wonderful things my life has included. And I have soRead more

Paleo thoughts.

Eleven months. I’ve been eating Paleo (admittedly of varying degrees) and doing high intensity interval training for eleven months. I’ve seen amazing physical results, which is great. Socially sanctioned and it’s nice to have some numbers to spew out to make people understand. But here’s the thing–numbers are the topping on the cake. And sinceRead more

Sobriety: A Long-Term Disability (Part V)

This is the fifth post in a five-part series discussing addiction, recovery [relapse], and long-term sobriety. As I celebrate five substance-free years, I am taking the time to [publicly] look back at where I really was in the months preceding my “clean date”, how I got to where I am now, and the ongoing implicationsRead more

Sobriety: A Lifesaver (Part IV)

This is the fourth post in a five-part series discussing addiction, recovery [relapse], and long-term sobriety. As I celebrate five substance-free years, I am taking the time to [publicly] look back at where I really was in the months preceding my “clean date”, how I got to where I am now, and the ongoing implicationsRead more

Getting Clean: Peaks and Valleys (Part III)

This is the third post in a five-part series discussing addiction, recovery [relapse], and long-term sobriety. As I celebrate five substance-free years, I am taking the time to [publicly] look back at where I really was in the months preceding my “clean date”, how I got to where I am now, and the ongoing implicationsRead more