I Present Myself.

I have often said I need to write to live. Thus, it baffles me when I go periods of time with my laptop shut down, in semi-conscious denial that my mind, heart, and soul inevitably follow. I don’t write for many reasons. Time. Energy or drive. Lack of content. Overwhelm of content. Appropriateness. Secrets. SecretsRead more

Rehab Update #2: Spirit Animal

Yesterday I sat in a basement room covered in murals of Native American rituals, nature, and spirit animals littered through a spiraling serene sky and I spent an hour detailing each trauma of my thirty-two years and six months on this earth with four other women in their fifties and sixties. We call this theRead more

Rehab Update #1: Rehab is Not Vacation

Today is Day Six in what I’m now affectionately calling “spa-rehab”. Saturday, April 15th. In the sky, Venus stationed direct in conjunction with Chiron. Chiron is the wounded healer. Take from that what you will. What I would say about rehab is that it is surreal. The stunning facility. The hippy-dippy therapeutic approach. The ultra-organic,Read more

Why I can tell my boss I have a drinking problem and am going to rehab.

Short answer: I’m white. Medium answer: I’m white and White Supremacy is real. Also, federal job protections. Long Answer: I’m white, married to a man, middle class appearing, attractive by general societal standards, and able-bodied unless I open my mouth and tell you I’ve got a host of mental health challenges that could be consideredRead more

Is Body Acceptance Still For Me?

I’ve had an eating disorder since I was sixteen years old. If we’re counting, that’s sixteen years. I recovered when I was twenty-two; I finally stopped purging in the third trimester of my first pregnancy. I gained ninety pounds during that pregnancy. And, because I was a sickly skinny methamphetamine addict before I got soberRead more

Am I supposed to get sober today?

It’s the first day of 2017. You know, that magical moment where we collectively release ourselves into the belief that we can make any handy or hard resolution and it will somehow stick. Magical moment people. Am I missing it if I don’t jump on board? Am I doomed for a month or a year?Read more