Life After “The After”

Two years ago I spent a lot of time on the mirror taking selfie’s of my super fit body. At least that was what I thought I was doing. Looking back now I see near gauntness. I see a lack of curves where my body wants to exist. I see bones where I’d benefit from padding.

I see things differently nowadays.

In two years I’ve changed almost every aspect of my life: my day-to-day activities, my eating patterns, my job, my social group, who I follow on social media, how I exist and present myself within this world. My appearance has changed too. I’ve done incredible healing with my relationship with food–and my body has followed.

Mostly I just want to post these pictures because I find them shocking and stunning and mesmerizing. They say so much with so few words. I can talk around them all I’d like, but it’s only filler for the real show here. How a body can change and morph. What we insist is attainable or attractive. What kind of “before and afters” are celebrated and why.

And I want to remind you about this. How I came to be in this photo on the left, and what it cost me to exist there. And all the work that went into becoming the woman on the right. And what I’ve had to give up to stand tall here. If anything exists in-between it’s health and healing.

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