I should tell you to set down your phone. I should tell you to STOP (in capital letters) and be in the present for a second.
But I won’t.
You’ve heard that before.
Instead: I get it.
In fact, I’m there right now. Sitting cross-legged on my yoga mat, writing this on my iPhone. I can hear “Liv and Maddie” playing in the distance–my six-year-old watching TV far beyond her age, per the norm.
I’m oddly home from work on a Thursday afternoon before swimming lessons and a Lunar New Year event at my kids’ school. We invited my brother, niece and mom over for dinner tonight. I think I’ll make spaghetti.
I get it.
This shit is rough.
Trump is dismantling life as we know it. My Facebook feed is hopping with protest, with outrage, with panic, with fear and fight and hope and hell on earth. All of it. And yet, I scroll.
My therapist told me yesterday to turn off NPR while I drove home. I think she really meant perusing Facebook.
And I get it.
I would benefit from a break. But I just can’t tear myself away. I can’t set down the fucking phone. I can’t stop watching the goddamn train wreck.
Did I mention I’m drinking wine at 3pm on my yoga mat? Self-medicating feels more necessary than ever. Can we own it and also look curiously at it? Wonder about the whys and if the needs are true and what is one or more levels underneath them? Can we be a detective in our own lives? In our unique response to this collective trauma?
Stay woke moms.
Stay aware. Even if you’re scrolling through Facebook on your yoga mat. Find the compromises in this life. Take the middle ground. Get a fucking “C”. It’s going to be okay.
Try to give yourself a break from your phone. From the incessant news. From the longing to know more (to make up for the guilt of not doing more). We are doing enough. We working moms are juggling it all. Whatever we can do is enough. Surviving and keeping alive these young ones is enough. Making it through an occasional day without a magic (alcoholic) elixir is enough.
We got this.
You are not alone, mom on the yoga mat. Even though you’re torn between how badly you’d like some time alone and how desperately you need to connect with like-minded friends right now. We are all here with you. Alone, together. Scrolling our fear away. And pieces of our sanity too.
Try to set the phone down for a few minutes. And then a few more minutes longer. You can do this. You were made for this. And then, breathe. Close your eyes. Enjoy your free hands. Maybe clasp them together. And know, you ARE okay. No matter what, you can come here and you can find you. We are all we really need.
Now put the fucking phone down. And find yourself. We need found women, “woke” women, raw and honest and jarringly present women more than ever. I’ll take a [short] break from my phone if you will too.
Also, maybe check this out: https://www.restforresistance.com/zine/self-care-tips-for-radical-social-media-users